The Road Goes Ever On
Mama Landwalker, do you have any tips or advice or warnings for a tarot reader, who is reading for the general public for the first time?
  • Find a quiet corner where you can spread out and maintain a setup without being disturbed. Make sure there’s room for the type of spread you want to use and for any other materials you want to have on hand.
  • Don’t be afraid to have a tip jar present, or to put a suggested donation amount on it (i.e. $5 a reading or whatever you feel is fair…be reasonable, but don’t cheat yourself if you’re doing complex spreads), unless you’re doing it for free. Free is generally fine for practice, but if you’re doing it at a party or something, ask for tips. It’s like any other skill: if you’re good at something, never do it for free.
  • Go with your instincts during the reading. If something feels right, say it. If the cards feel wrong, reshuffle. If you feel comfortable with people touching the cards to cut the deck, go for it, but don’t be afraid to tell them, “Don’t touch my cards.”
  • Have your book or reference text handy in case you need to check the meaning of a card. Rather than fumbling and coming up with something that may or may not be relevant, look it up. (Another reason it’s good to do practice rounds among friends…they’re usually more patient.)
  • Don’t let anyone give you shit over the content of your reading. The cards say what they say. If the customer don’t like the message, that’s their problem.

Good luck!

*cuddles into bednest and pulls blankets over her head*

Mrrrr…I don’t wanna get up…it’s cozy in here…

My aunt and I are going out of town for half the weekend, so I put a sigil on the back of my bedroom door to keep my creeptastic uncle and his various mistresses out. Hopefully it will work, but maybe I'll enhance it with a protection spell as well. Any advice on more ways to keep my room unsullied?
Anonymous

Thumbtacks just beyond the threshold and keep the door closed so any pets you have won’t get hurt.

Any asshole comes in uninvited in bare feet, they’ll have a nasty surprise.

Just remember to pick them up when you get home.

The partial-head-wash-in-sink is giving me mental spoons today.

Take note, folks who occasionally have trouble bringing themselves to get in the shower even if they really need/want one and also folks who may not have time for one first thing in the morning.

Five minutes of scooping water over my head, scrubbing a tiny amount of shampoo through it (seriously, button-size dollop), and then rinsing, plus another two for sink-bathing the necessaries, and VOILA. I don’t smell, things are clean, and I can make it through another day until I have the wherewithal for a full shower.

breelandwalker is a literal cutie pie and is perfection incarnate
Anonymous

BreeLandWalker is a positive light in the communities. She is collected and well-informed and when presented with corrections she takes them gracefully. She provides a solid voice that is unbiased and does not spread hate. She has handled issues with the hateful bloggers (both informed and uninformed alike) with masterful capabilities. She deserves an award in this awkward and terrifying place.
Anonymous

Buh…

Cats, oh cats, why must you be so cute BUT KEEP YOUR PAWS OFF O’ MY FOOD
Try telling HIM that.
I’ll have to get footage of Sebastian vs A Cheeseburger sometime.
Calzones are nothing…NOTHING…compared to cheeseburgers. I have never seen so much thirst in a single creature.

Sebastian vs. The Calzone

wanderingartificer:

breelandwalker:

wanderingartificer:

wanderluustwitch:

What’s everyone doing for Beltane?

A bonfire, drinking, and crazy sex

Dinner and a movie, followed by drinking and fucking till we can’t see straight.

That sounds like a great plan ^^

And it’s my birthday this weekend too. I party in STYLE, bitches. X3

wind-voice:

breelandwalker:

bluandorange:

bluandorange:

okay but can you imagine like

a week after your truck gets stolen out of the goddamn mall parking lot, you get a knock on the door and there’s fucking Captain America standing there. Says he’s here about your goddamn truck. And for a moment you wonder if he started working for the police now that Shield took a dive, but you don’t say so, you just nod when he describes your truck to you, license plate number, make, model and color, all to a tee. 

And then the weirdest thing happens (weirder than Captain America just showing up at your front door). Captain America starts looking bashful. And then he tells you your truck was lost ‘in the line of duty’. You must still look a little awestruck because he elaborates; he’s the one who took your truck. 

Captain America fucking stole your goddamn truck out of the goddamn mall parking lot.

And he’s going to pay for a new one. And he’s very, very sorry.

He comes with you to the car dealership, too. Because he’s so so sorry, also he gets military discount, so he can help you.
he is so so sorry

I am dead and this post has killed me. x_x

I suppose it’s as good as Tony Stark coming to you asking if your car was in A lot of the Mall Parking lot, was it still there, but just toasted after it got fried when he fought somebody off? Yes? Well, here’s the amount of the new car, there’s the check, sorry bout that. All while Nick Fury stands about 5 feet behind him tapping one foot and Natasha and Clint are staring at him from either side of your door.

IT GOT BETTER! XD

Me: *nom nom calzone nom nom*

Sebastian: *jumps up on bed* Hi there, heard you were doing something besides petting me and-….what is that?

Me: Umm, calzone?

Sebastian: Does that have cheese in it? THAT HAS CHEESE IN IT. *SWARMS ONTO LAP*

Me: DAMNIT SEBASTIAN GET OFF!

Sebastian: GIVE ME THE THING GIVE IT TO ME GIVE IT TO ME NOW.

Me: GET DOWN RABID FELINE! BACK! BACK I SAY!

Sebastian: GIVE US THE CHEEEEESE, PRECIOUS.

Me: FUCKS SAKE… *gives little crumb of ricotta*

Sebastian: *purrpurrnomnom* Oooooo creamycreamycheesycheese… okay done bye now. *hops down*

Me: You are one insane little bastard.

wanderingartificer:

wanderluustwitch:

What’s everyone doing for Beltane?

A bonfire, drinking, and crazy sex

Dinner and a movie, followed by drinking and fucking till we can’t see straight.

bluandorange:

bluandorange:

okay but can you imagine like

a week after your truck gets stolen out of the goddamn mall parking lot, you get a knock on the door and there’s fucking Captain America standing there. Says he’s here about your goddamn truck. And for a moment you wonder if he started working for the police now that Shield took a dive, but you don’t say so, you just nod when he describes your truck to you, license plate number, make, model and color, all to a tee. 

And then the weirdest thing happens (weirder than Captain America just showing up at your front door). Captain America starts looking bashful. And then he tells you your truck was lost ‘in the line of duty’. You must still look a little awestruck because he elaborates; he’s the one who took your truck. 

Captain America fucking stole your goddamn truck out of the goddamn mall parking lot.

And he’s going to pay for a new one. And he’s very, very sorry.

He comes with you to the car dealership, too. Because he’s so so sorry, also he gets military discount, so he can help you.
he is so so sorry

I am dead and this post has killed me. x_x

Just thought of something. If this is the first time you've had Hershey's chocolate, does that mean you've also never had a s'more?

how-to-train-your-dragon-queen:

breelandwalker:

how-to-train-your-dragon-queen:

breelandwalker:

how-to-train-your-dragon-queen:

breelandwalker:

how-to-train-your-dragon-queen:

I have never has s’mores…

(Making public so people can see my shame)

Oh. Oh baby.

Get yourself another one of those Hershey bars, and some marshmallows and graham crackers. Take ‘em to a bonfire. Roast yourself a marshmallow, sandwich it between two halves of a graham cracker with a few little blocks of that chocolate bar, AND PREPARE TO FALL IN LOVE.

They’re called s’mores because once you have one, you’re gonna want “some more.”

I’m going to have to go over to the States and have AAAAAALL you lovely people teach me the wonders of American Eating.

Oh hell yeah. We’ll go to Philadelphia for cheesesteaks and then to a deli for hoagies and you can learn the two dozen regional names that we have for sandwiches on a long roll (grinder, sub, po’ boys, etc).

Plus there’s a thousand kinds of pizza and ball-park franks.

Please tell me you have chili dogs in Australia…

… I’m starting to feel slightly intimidated… I can imagine getting off at the airport and you waiting there with a basket of food going “THIS IS JUST FOR THE WAY HOME!”

Yeah, that’s pretty much how it’s going to go. X3

At least you have McDonald’s (Macca’s, I think they call it there?) so you have a head start.

Yeah we are bogan and call it Maccas. I’m sure the first few nights I say “Let’s go for a maccas run” at 3am you’ll be wondering “why the hell does this woman want to exercise at 3 am?!

Oh hell no, I’m up for a burger run at 3am! It’s just a matter of finding a place that’s open. At that hour, you’re probably looking a finding a Sonic. Most Burger Kings and McDonald’s close around midnight or 1am.

allthingshyper:

allthingshyper:

If people there were capable of building pyramids and plotting cities, I’m fairly certain they could’ve managed some hillside figures. It’s less complicated than people make…

Point taken. I forget how high some of the hills are.

Funny how so many ‘alien history theories’ fall apart with a moments logical thought

It makes me grin.

Still, the lines are truly impressive. I’ve seen flyover videos and they’re really amazing.